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The Bliss Mistress Guide: This, Or Something Better

by Edie Weinstein

Those of you reading this publication are likely at least passingly familiar with, if not immersed in the ideas of Law of Attraction; that includes the statement, attributed to Dr. John DeMartini, “What we think about and thank about, we bring about.” Consider for a moment the times in your life when you have desired for something to manna-fest. A seed was planted in your mind and you may have thought: “I want this experience, job, relationship, house, car, amount of money...” Then on the heels may come a companion thought, such as “Oh, I'll never have these things, or that person in my life.” and you will conjure up all manner of proof that this is so. Guess what? You are more powerful than you know. Any thought that you hold long enough becomes entrenched in your consciousness and is now your chosen reality, for better or worse. Given that this is so, how would you prefer to view the experience? Here's where it gets exciting and tricky. I have found, countless times through my 52 years on the planet, that, to quote the rock n roll sage Mick Jagger “You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.” I would strengthen that by saying that I ALWAYS get what I need for growing myself and stretching my comfort zones.

When you gaze backward at the dog-eared pages of your life story, how many times can you recall that NOT getting what you wanted was truly a blessing in disguise? I sure can. As I consider potential employers who hired someone else, potential partners who felt we weren't a good match (what were they thinking?), query letters I have sent for writing gigs that were never answered, I am able to say an honest, from the heart thank you to these people, because gifts came along with them.

Acceptance of what is, rather than just what I think 'should be' so.

Learning to hear 'no' gracefully, without taking it personally.

Leaving time or space for letting in what truly would serve me.

Re-evaluating what I really want, not just what I think I am supposed to want.

Willingness to face change.

An in-my-face powerful example occurred this week at my full time job as a social worker in a psychiatric hospital. As a result of some administrative decisions, staff people were transferred to different units. Six months earlier, I had moved from one unit to another and had taken some time to adjust to the new digs and change in client population. Just when I was getting accustomed, I was told that I was to move again. Let the sighing and monkey mind tirade begin! After I had my inner hissy fit, I took a look at, as my friend Peggy wisely counsels, “what's right about this situation?” The truth is, there is a lot right about it. I have a larger office, a more homogenous group of clients and bonus bliss, I can tune in to my favorite radio station (88.5 fm WXPN) when I wasn't able to get the signal in the other building, so I can listen to music that I enjoy that keeps me charged throughout the day.

Change can be challenging and sometimes we fight it, kicking and screaming (at least inwardly). I have no problem with change, if I am the one consciously instituting it; but when it is foist upon me, I sometimes balk. That's when I gather my ' crew'; or team of wise ones and they remind me to focus on the concept of “This, or something better, manifests for the Highest Good of All Concerned.” That relationship I may have wanted that didn't pan out, left space for someone else to come into my life who so enriched it. That job for which I didn't get hired, allowed me to work elsewhere and experience whatever it was that needed to occur and for me to be of service wherever I was planted. Those writing gigs that didn't materialize gave me the time to write for others. Just this past week I had submitted an article to a website with the idea that this could be an ongoing gig. The editor felt it wasn't a good fit, even though, based on the other columnists submissions, it seemed in alignment. In a heart beat, without taking it too terribly, personally, I submitted it to someone else who embraced it. The message seemed to be, to release attachment to anyone's perception and if something doesn't show up as I expect it to, the highest response, is just to say “Next!” and then surrender it. Perhaps this week was a 'test of the emergency sanity system' which I would like to think I passed with flying colors.

So, what is your wish, dream or desire to which you can gratefully apply the principle of 'this or something better?'

Edie Weinstein (a.k.a Bliss Mistress) is a colorfully creative journalist and a sought after speaker, interfaith minister and social worker. She writes a daily blog on Beliefnet called The Bliss Blog


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