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"Yes, Yes, Yes... Now what is the question?"

by Ariel & Shya Kane


It is very rare that people whole–heartedly agree with the circumstances of their lives. Where no matter what happens they operate as though it is their idea and they are the authors of how their lives are showing up, rather than the victims of the circumstances.

In our endeavor to realize ourselves as enlightened beings we have found a game that has supported us in discovering the truth about reality. Reality – our lives – shows up exactly as it does in each moment, newly and completely. If we are a ‘yes’ to how our reality is showing up it completes itself in that instant. The game we discovered was to add the phrase, "...and this is what I want," to however our lives are showing up.

This morning, as we are writing this article, we are in the Bahamas. It is unseasonably cold and very windy. We had planned on spending the day at the beach but given the weather conditions these plans are not ideal. We can either complain to ourselves about how unfair life is that we have this unfortunate weather pattern or we can be a ‘yes’ to what we have, which is a windy, cool, blustery day. The former only causes frustration, agita and angst. Being a yes to how our day shows up allows us to be productive, satisfied and well in ourselves because this day is what we want, truly.

The moment showing up the way it is allows us to write, which is what we want. It creates the perfect opportunity for us to participate in our lives in a different way than we had anticipated. Instead of being outdoors, we are indoors and writing, which is what we want to do.

Inherent in this is completely dropping our prior agenda without ever going back to the idea that we should be doing something else and whole–heartedly engaging in writing as though it was and is our first preference. Which in fact, in this moment it is. How we approach our lives is that whatever is showing up is our first preference, regardless of how we may have originally planned otherwise.

The level of stress that people create for themselves by the disagreement to how their lives are showing up is profound. People rail at airport, train, bus or traffic delays as if their upset will have life rearrange itself so that they will get their way.

Often times we hear people say, "Oh, Ok, I accept that the weather is what it is, so I will stay indoors." Roughly translated that means, "Oh, I can’t go outside, I don’t like it...but I will get over it." "Acceptance" is "no" in disguise. What we are talking about is truly being a yes to the way your life is unfolding in each moment.

When you are a "no" to your life, even a disguised no, then your well being or lack thereof is blamed on the circumstances. You can either be the victim of your life or the author of your life. As the victim of your life, circumstances determine your sense of well being, satisfaction and accomplishment. If it doesn’t work out, it is always caused from outside of you.

Our lives show up as a reflection of how we are being into life. If we are resisting the way our lives are showing up and saying "no," we perpetuate those very things we resist. Being a "yes" to your life and the way your life is showing up in each moment shifts your reality and allows for you to truly take control of your own life. Saying "yes" (and meaning it) is a skill–set. With practice, you will get better at being a yes, regardless of the circumstances.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have taught individuals, couples and organizations across the globe how to live in the moment and unwire the knee-jerk behaviors that get in the way of living life with ease. Together for 30 years and counting, people still ask Ariel and Shya if they are on their honeymoon. To find out more about the Kanes, their books, videos & seminars, visit: www.TransformationMadeEasy.com.


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