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Searching for God or the Higher Power of Your Understanding

by Robert G. Waldvogel


Everyone, at one time or another, has searched for God, and there may be good reason why some of them have needed to.

Compressed and inhibited by physical form, we have been reduced to time and a finite form of existence.  We have assumed temporary identities, personalities, and individualities, and are therefore in unnatural states, having stepped away from what we always were for the sheer purpose of remembering when we return.  Because the body shields us from this eternity, we are not in states of perfection here, with physical needs.  
We are all works in progress, with distorted realities.  Each person has his own version of what he considers “truth” and each may, in fact, have grasped a thread to it.  But we are neither large nor high enough to see the pieces those threads lead to when integrated into a cohesive whole and what may be the eternal truth connecting them all.

Becoming what we are not—and usually assuming full amnesia to this fact in order not to interrupt this eternal hiatus process—however, creates the dilemma of having one foot in both the earthly and eternal doors, conflicting and confusing our perceptions and beliefs.  It is during these times that doubts concerning God and His existence permeate our lives, compounding the dichotomous nature of our physical and spiritual existences, which reflect different dimensions.

Thus, we often embark upon a search for our Creator. 

Many can intellectualize the fact that there is no duality—that is, that they and God are the same—two beings on either side of the same life force.  But when they sink into negative emotion and depression, the other side of them—or the Source Who created them—is notably absent, as if the link has somehow been severed.  Perhaps it has.  

If God is pure love and beingness, then they feel the opposite of these properties—and hence Him—during these times.  The connection, made through feelings, either becomes statically strained or altogether unreceived, as if the positives He sends are converted, misrouted, and repelled by the negatives they exude at this time.  It is difficult to understand that they reflect God when they sink into the quicksand of fear, anxiety, or despair, because they fail to reflect His positive properties.  Instead, they only seem to reflect their negative ones.

You can only feel the love God sends if you receive, absorb, and embody it.  If not, you feel disconnected and abandoned.

God gave us two emotional extremes: love and fear.  All others, such as contentment, boredom, frustration, and anger, are greater or lesser degrees of them.  When a person is at the latter end of the spectrum, he is in internal darkness and hence cannot connect with God, Who is obviously at the highest end, manifested as external light.   

It is both sad and a shame that what a person intrinsically is he cannot detect or identify, forcing him to search outside of himself for what is inside of him, but converted to unrecognizability.  If he commences this search for God, then he equally begins this search for himself—or the shared essence.

If he seeks someone physical, then he will never find his Higher Power, because he can see no further than his own physicality.  In order to locate God, he must “see” Him with his soul, not with his eyes.

If we all come from the same Source, then the inability to connect with each other results in a fundamental disconnection from that Source, leaving us torn from the fabric of the whole, cast adrift, isolated.

In the end, if a person can only understand God on his terms, than he reduces and limits Him to a human entity—not an infinite one.

Since there is no duality, a person’s essence can be reduced to what can be considered the two most powerful words in the English language--“I am.”  While this statement may be incomplete here on earth, prompting a person to ask, “I am what?” it and he are complete in eternity, without needing to add physical aspects, such as “I am tall, a manager, a teacher, or a golfer.”

In order to truly know what you are, you must ask yourself if you define your essence as physical and temporary or ethereal and infinite. 

Robert G. Waldvogel has earned an Interdisciplinary Certificate in Behavioral Health for Late Adolescence and the Emerging Adult and a Postgraduate Certificate in the Fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment at Adelphi University’s School of Social Work.  He leads a Twelve-Step support group on Long Island and has published articles focusing on human behavior and spiritual principles.




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