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Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Seek Relief & To Be A Blessing

by Cassendre Xavier


One of the things that has worked consistently for me in manifesting my desires was putting out a psychic call to the Universe for relief. Usually I am not even aware I am doing it, but only realize it after I have received the relief I almost unconsciously was seeking.

 I remember one night I was traveling back to Philadelphia from visiting one lover in New York. I was low on rent money and had no idea how I was going to come up with the difference I needed. I was so worried, stressed, and feeling very upset. I remember looking up into the night sky as I walked up the steep cement hill to catch my train in Chinatown NY. Out of the blue my cell phone rang and when I looked at it I saw the name of my on-again-off again lover, with whom at the time I was off again. I was so relieved to see his name! I picked it up, and we talked later when I was on the bus. His voice was so reassuring, as it always was, and I told him of my problem. He said he would help me with the funds, and we agreed to meet. The next day we met at a bar, and hugged for the first time in our relationship. We had been sexual and dated, but never hugged, clothed, standing somewhere, in public. And when I put my arms under his, his tall, 6'5" solid fame enveloped me in a warmth I had never felt with him before. "Why have we never hugged before?" I asked myself. To date it is the only time that happened, and he as since passed away.

 Being the Daddy type, he rescued me yet again, and after that evening together, we were on yet again. I found relief from my problem, but just wishing for it. I didn't effort, I just felt, and it came. Law of Attraction. There was no resistance, I just let go and asked the Universe in a very strong and passionate way to help me. It, and my lover, did. 

 Another thing that has worked well and always for me has been to seek to be a blessing in a situation in my life I am having difficulty with.

 I was homeless and raising bits of money here and there to stay in the occasional hotel or motel room for one or blessedly two days a week, and the other nights I was sleeping on public transportation vehicles, or at public transit stations. Or, I would have the occasional overnight date with a sexually compatible fellow I hoped to grow into live-in boyfriend-girlfriend situation.

 Again, one night, I was walking around and feeling pretty bad. I usually pay attention to my thoughts and emotions and decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, to stop feeling bad because I didn't want to attract from that point. I also realized that I could put out my feelings to the Universe. That was allowed. So, I prayed for relief. I put it out there, that surely there was relief to be had. Surely there must be a man out there, for sure several, who would be compatible with me, and have enough income and space in their home for me to share with them. I was tired of the suffering and wanted relief!

 Just then, came a nother thought. Right after the "prayer" for relief, and I think the key point here is that I almost ordered it. It wasn't like I was asking, it was more like I was announcing to the Universe that I had had enough, I knew there was a solution, as sure as there was earth under my feet and gravity and mathematics existed, I knew it. And I just expected relief would come somehow. I ordered it as if I were at a restaurant and no one to muck up my order or getting it to me. Again, no second thoughts, no afterthought, and no resistance. It just happened, without effort or planning.

 I had another thought, and it was that I wanted to be a blessing. I didn't just want to find a guy who would have me. I wanted to be a great and wonderful thing to someone. I wanted a helpmate, I was clear about that. I wanted a supportive partner, someone who wouldn't judge my financial flaws or weakness, nor my lack of independence in this way. I wanted a supportive and able partner in this area that I was weak at, and a situation where I wouldn't just be dependent upon him 100% and forever, but be a stepping stone for me to learn to be financially independent again. 
 I also prayed to be a help to someone. I wanted to be a blessing, not only because I know this prayer and intention work, but also because I knew this was a value I could offer, since I wouldn't be paying rent or significantly contributing to the household otherwise. 

 And that happened!

 Within a few weeks of praying for relief and to be a blessing, I had an overnight date with someone, wihch included dinner and a lovely conversation about why I hadn't already met someone who would be a companion and cook for me all the time. He loves to cook. I mean, I met someone who not only brings home the bacon, and not only loves to cook, but he prefers to be the one who cooks! 

 Even when we were just dating, I had started to clean up around the house. Wimmin do this. Seven months after we were dating, and after he had been a helpmate to me by buying me a tablet upon which I could do my writing and online networking, we talked about my homelessness for the first time. I had never brought it up, and neither had he. I guess he was ready to bring it up, that he was always picking me up from, and dropping me off at, my "office," the volunteer bookstore I had used as my "co-working" space for four years. He said he didn't want me sleeping all night on the train and if I didn't have a place to go I could stay with him. I did, and now it has been over 5 months of living together, and we just celebrated our first year anniversary as relationship partners!

 The way his house looks now and the way it looked when we started dating is like night and day. I have brought not only a new level of tidyness and cleanliness and order to it, but affection and attention to the two cats, and a more peaceful, positive, and beautiful atmosphere.  His adult, college-communiting daughter also lives with him, and the transition was very difficult, and these problems are much improved but still not gone. He is also a chain smoker and that bothers me, but what I focus on is the major bit of stability I now have in this residence, and how even the negative aspects benefit me in that they remind me that it isn't permanent, and I should remain focused on being able to have my own place again. 

 Now I believe he must have prayed for relief, too, to have someone help him keep a comfortable and pleasant home. He likes to be around me, and although he is a gruff-demeanored child abuse survivor with PTSD, just like me, and doesn't often say mushy things, I believe by his actions that he truly appreciates me and my efforts there. 

 I now believe that he must have prayed for me, for someone like me, to come and help him keep the house neat. I believe this because I see him take initiative to do things to make it even nicer. He is motivated now because he has help. He has found a helpmate in me as I have found in him. And I am motivated now to improve my financial situation, because I am now not totally focused on mere survival. I can move, albeit slowly due to my bipolar disorder's energy balance issues, towards my goals of financial self-sufficiency once again. I am so grateful! We are so grateful for each other, and I know that from what I see, and from the sweet gestures he does for me all the time. And when I said he doesn't often say mushy things, sometimes they slip, like the time recently I was sweeping in the kitchen and he was vacuuming the living room. I said, "If you see pennies on the floor, I left them there. My friend, poet  CAConrad says that copper attracts love. It's a conductive metal; and that's why they use it in electronics. So I leave pennies on the floor, to attract more love." He replied, "We got plenty of love." This is my nesting partner and helpmate. My friend who is helping me get better and get independent again, in a way (my therapist told me that my partner probably really appreciates that I am very independent in many other ways, and it's true, I am!). So I believe by his actions such as this, that I am truly appreciated. 

 And this happened as a result of my seeking relief while also seeking to be a blessing.
 
 I have found that both of these have worked very well for me in attracting compatible, romantic, and/or sexual life partners. And may they work for you!



Related reading: Let Me Be a Blessing (Wisdom Magazine article) by Cassendre Xavier

Cassendre Xavier has been writing the "Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us" series at Wisdom Magazine's online edition since 2011. She is the author of the forthcoming book Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Dating & Relationships for the Poly, Recovering, Survivor & Tantric, and has presented her workshop of the same title at Sisterspace Weekend in Darlington, Maryland (September 2014) and the 10th  & 11th Annual Poly Living Conference in Philadelphia (February 2015 & 2016, respectively). Cassendre was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) at age 23. She has been a member of Philadelphia's LGBT, polyamorous, and New Age/ancient wisdom spiritual communities since 1991, and from 1996-1999 facilitated Sisters Healing Together, a peer support group for women survivors of incest with a special focus on compulsive overeating, which she also founded, at the William Way LGBT Community Center in Philadelphia. Under her self-assigned spiritual name Amethyste Rah, Cassendre released the popular Affirmations for Survivors guided meditation audio series (“Self-Love” and “Spirituality” in 2007, and “Sexuality” and “Life Skills” are forthcoming). For more information, please visit   https://cassendrexavier.wordpress.com/


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