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We Are Meant To Need Each Other

by Cassendre Xavier


I think we spend too much time worrying about not being good enough or self-sufficient enough. We feel guilty for having flaws and imposing on others. And we may also judge others for their weaknesses, flaws, and helplessness.

I know I do and feel all of the above.

At the same time I know we are meant to need each other, and in fact I say this, one of my favorite phrases, often.

Recently someone close to me requested my help in a task she was doing as a favor to a friend of hers. This was a relatively big task and I felt some resentment over being enlisted to service someone I felt had been enabled for years. 

Seconds after having that thought I realized that people could and some did say the very same things about me and my seeming inability to be fully and consistently self-sufficient. 

I saw how we are truly mirrors of one another and I ceased my judgment at once, because I saw that it didn't really matter what this persun's motivations or abilities were, this persun I know an am close to chose to help and I could choose to help them help their friend.

Immediately upon making that decision, I began to feel very good about it and reap many benefits.

First I felt very useful. I knew my help would greatly ease the burden of the work.

Then, I recalled that I myself have the same project to do over the next month or so, and I saw that I could use my involvement in this project as practice and to better run my own job when the time came.

Then, I saw how everyone involved was blessed by the help: my friend and I were able to spend time together, I grew as a persun, and this other persun received help.

Lastly, I received the joyful feelings that come from receiving several exclamations of thanks, gratitude,  and appreciation.

Our weaknesses are often opportunities for us to come together and improve our characters,  to be kinder, more generous, and more patient.

Next time you feel badly for having a flaw or needing someone's help, remember that without flaws or weakness, we would not get together nearly as much, if at all.

Remember, we are in fact designed this way.

We are meant to need each other.

Cassendre Xavier is a $15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-winning self-described “multi-media healing artist” who writes, records music and guided meditations, and creates community cultural arts events. She has written for Wisdom Magazine’s webzine since 2009. Visit her storefront of recordings, and books of poetry and inspiring essays  at http://cassEndrExavier.wordpress.com

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