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Feng Shui Q & A

by Aaron Lee Koch


Dear Practitioner,

Three months ago, my daughter informed me that I am not welcome at her wedding and I have been devastated ever since. For years now, she has been hostile to me but I have no idea why and I never expected anything like this. When I ask her what gives, she spouts nonsense about how I’ve mistreated her and about my second husband, a gentle and lovely man. A wedding is the most important day in a young woman’s life and to not celebrate this milestone with the daughter that I love, my only child, is unimaginable.

When she first told me that I cannot come, I hired a Feng Shui consultant to try to work out the problem. She practiced the Black Sect form of Feng Shui and had me buy a number of strings of specially blessed crystals, insuring me that things would straighten out. She also recommended mirrors in several locations in my home and several other changes. The crystals alone cost several hundred dollars. Needless to say, things have not changed at all so far.

I know you believe in cures. Do you have a cure that can help my daughter to grow up, to bring me back into her life and to get me invited to her wedding? Please help me with an easy solution to this terrible situation.

Distraught Mother,

Staten Island, NY

Dear Distraught,

I am sorry that you spent a large amount of money on a non-traditional form of Feng Shui and so-called cures that had no effect. Nevertheless, traditional vs. non-traditional Feng Shui is not the issue here. You are entirely barking up the wrong tree in trying to resolve things with your daughter.

The only way to work things out with your daughter is to speak with her directly. You have not really listened to her. This is made clear by your referring to her viewpoints as "nonsense".

Take your daughter to lunch and be honest with her. Tell her that this situation is upsetting to you and has made you aware that the problems between you and she are very serious. Ask her what you can do to start rebuilding a truly close relationship with her. Then really listen without arguing or contradicting her. Her feelings are important and must be treated with respect.

Do not meet her with a specific agenda, such as being determined to go to the wedding. Meet her with a sincere open mind and heart and a desire to be closer to her. The wedding invitation may come. But, in either case, know that you are starting on the road to a better relationship with your daughter and that is more important than any single day, even her wedding day.

And to answer your question directly, no, there is no cure that anyone can sell you which will resolve this situation. It will take work on your part to get to know your adult daughter and to build a new relationship with her based on honesty, understanding and mutual respect.



Dear Practitioner,

I am in a lot of fear about global warming and the coming scarcity of energy. It seems that we are living in a system that is not really working. Our leaders look to war as the solution to almost every problem, and they do not even deal with the real problems that are so urgent. I try to do my part to make this a better world, such as recycling, conserving energy, talking to people about my fears, and joining groups of like-minded people.

I believe in various types of energy work including Feng Shui and I know how much they can help. But it seems that they help mainly within one individual’s life or maybe one household, while the main issues today seem to be universal. What can we best do to save the world? Is there even still hope for the world in your view? Is the energy crisis going to kill us all? Or will the insanity of our leaders get to us first? Can a system that is wrong and that has gone wrong be made right? How can we apply Feng Shui and other types of energy work to the world as a whole and really work to heal this planet?


Woodstock, NY

Dear May,

Despite appearances, the "system" is functioning perfectly and is in perfect harmony. The real system that we are living in is our universe and our world here on earth, both of which are working fine. The universe is infinitely larger than the little politicians making wars and playing political games. Fear is not necessary and serves no essential purpose. There’s nothing we need do except to focus on that which is real and not on that which is illusory. We are surrounded by good energy and nothing will throw it out of kilter. The value of the dollar may go up and down, as well as the price of oil. The world will go through cycles of war and peace, nations will become friends then enemies and then friends again and individuals will do the same. There are those who say it’s too late to reverse global warming and others who say that it’s a false issue that should be ignored. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Global warming is real and largely man-made, but it is not at all too late to reverse the ongoing climate change. The world is not fundamentally changing and universal principles will not change. We human beings have a lot of creativity and imagination and we can find ways around the little crises that come up. We need only remember to see them as relatively insignificant. For example, I was very inspired to read the other day that Israel has a serious plan to switch to all electric vehicles in the next several years. The human mind can find a way to overcome absolutely anything, because each one of us is part of a vast and limitless intelligence that we can tap into.



Dear Practitioner,

The front of my house faces the street. However, my main door is not in the front. It is on the side of the house and it faces the side of my neighbor’s house, about 10 feet away. The more I learn about Feng Shui, the more I realize that this cannot be good. Is there a remedy you can recommend?

Needing Something,

Bayside, NY

Dear Needing,

The ideal remedy may be difficult to implement. This would involve placing a large round or oval mirror on the side of your neighbor’s house that would reflect both your door and the front yard of your house.

The alternative to the above is to place a small pa kua mirror above your door. A pa kua mirror is a small mirror surrounded by symbols in a very specific format. It has the power to deflect negative energy. Pa kua mirrors must be selected with the help of someone who knows what to look for in an authentic one. Most pa kua mirrors that are sold off the shelf in Chinatown shops are made incorrectly and do nothing. Pa kua mirrors come in flat, concave and convex versions, each used for a different purpose. In your case, a flat mirror should be used. An authentic pa kua mirror is a cure of last resort because it is so powerful that it can cause problems for the house that it faces or even for occupants of your own home, if those individuals are particularly sensitive to environmental energy.


Aaron Lee Koch is a Master Feng Shui Practitioner, and Director of The American School of Classical Feng Shui. He is available for home and business consultations throughout our area, and may be reached at 607-722-8988 or 718-288-1058, e-mail: FengShui@AmeriChi.com, web site: www.AmeriChi.com. As many questions as space permits will be answered through this column. Questions may be e-mailed or mailed to Aaron at AmeriChi Feng Shui, PO Box 983, Vestal, NY 13851-0983.

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