6 Things Women Like From Their Date

Whether you're newly divorced or have simply been out of the singles game for a while, you may feel nervous about having the resources, emotional and financial, to begin dating again.

Some men have told me that they have no idea what women want or expect from a date. Here's an insider secret: It's surprisingly easy to impress a woman favorably, initially, by learning a handful of suggestions. Yes, women want men who are emotionally evolved and professionally successful, but if you don't first attend to these first-date deal breakers, you may miss the opportunity to show her the amazing person you really are.

Avoid first-date missteps by following these six basics:

Show some style. It's not just men who are visual. Women size up their date quickly, in the first few seconds—by his clothes, shoes, and accessories. Put some effort into your "look." An exquisite pair of shoes or an impeccable shirt can make all the difference in her first impression. If you don't have a sense of style, go to a men's store and ask for help and speak to the tailor.

Practice good hygiene. The second thing a woman will instantly notice is your hygiene. Are you clean-shaven or cleanly trimmed? What about your nails—trimmed and clean? A woman also judges a man by the way he smells, so beware of odors: body, cigars, beer, and barbecue. Brushing often and flossing daily prevents the most common form of bad breath.

Use old-fashioned manners. Even the most modern women appreciate it when men open doors for them, or stand up at the table and pull out their chair. Believe me, she will admire your polished manners—such as lifting your eating utensils only after she has lifted hers, not speaking while chewing, and being polite to waiters, valets, and others.

Be attentive. During your date, look into her eyes and listen. A woman needs to feel important and special on a date. Pay attention to what she is saying. Acknowledge that you're interested in her and that there is nothing else going on around you—you only have eyes and ears for her. Ask her questions and really listen to her answers. You may not get this opportunity again.

Learn to dance. Most women like to dance. The way you hold her on the dance floor speaks volumes. Invest in three lessons if you need to. It's worth it. Nothing says "romance" like a twirl on the dance floor.

Call her the next day, either way. If you want to see her again, call her and tell her so. You don't have to make another date right away. If you don't wish to see her again, call her anyway and thank her for her time. Explain that you didn't think the chemistry was there, or that you aren't sure about your compatibility, or that you may be better as friends than lovers. Do not tell her she looks nothing like her photograph. She knows. Be kind, and wish her well.

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Barbara Kennedy, MPH, MSW, is a well-known relationship coach, prominent speaker, and public health educator with a private relationship coaching practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. Her new book is Baby Boomer Men: Looking for Love (www.babyboomermenlookingforlove.com).