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Alternatives For Healing

Ask Your Mama

by Mama Donna Henes

Are you cyclically confused? In a ceremonial quandary? Completely clueless? Wonder no more.

*Ask Your Mama™

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Spirituality and Didn’t Know Who to Ask™


©Mama Donna Henes, Urban Shaman

A Question of Healing Circles

Dear Mama Donna,

Greetings! I am seeking your advice. A friend is very ill with a lung condition that has plagued her since childhood. The condition has deteriorated rapidly over the last two years and now today she is at home on oxygen, fighting for her health.

I would like to perform a healing circle with some of our female friends. Not having done this before I seek your counsel on how to perform this ritual. My hope is to bring her to my home, which is a healing space, and the circle would be performed here. She is losing hope and needs a boost, and we know that the healing power of women can achieve that. She has no daughters, nor any close friends and lives with her husband and son. I know the time spent here would be a boost since she loves my home and enjoys spending time with me and my daughters.

I am grateful for your spirit,

- For a Friend in Need, in South Carolina

Dear Friend in Deed,

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It is very sad. I agree that a women's healing circle is just the ticket.

There are no rules about ritual. It all comes down to your intention. You need to be clear about that. Is it to boost her mood? Is it to recharge her hope and energy? Is it to heal her? Is it to reverse her condition?

It sounds to me like you are thinking about a circle of women to support her and surround her with compassion and comfort. This is lovely. Just make sure that you understand what you want to achieve. And that the entire group is in agreement. Keeping your intention in mind, whatever you do will be correct.

- Create a safe space for ritual. Do something to define the circle. Draw its circumference with ribbons, with chalk, with oil, with blessings. The idea is to consecrate a space inside of which is holy and safe and protected. I like to pass around a vial of oil and have people bless each other around the circle.

- Offer many blessings: bless each other, bless the elements that comprise all of life and existence, bless your selves.

- Express your intention for the ceremony. Maybe have each woman offer something to your friend: a thought, a prayer, a poem, a story, a memory.

- Why not ask each woman to bring a small, meaningful amulet (a lucky stone, shell, crystal, etc.) and as part of the ritual, have her explain what her amulet is, why it is special, and why she is offering it as a gift. Collect them all in a bag to give to your friend so that she can carry a continual reminder of the energy and hope offered by the group.

- Light candles as symbols of hope and cheer.

- You might have her sit or lie in the center of the circle and everyone reach out and touch her with hands extended in love and support to impart your intention for hr wellbeing.

All of these are only suggestions. If an idea comes to you, do it. Follow your own instincts. Whatever you do will be filled with love and well meaning. And she will feel that love and it will buoy her.

It is dear of you to do this. You are a good friend, indeed! I think your circle will be highly appreciated by every single woman who participates in this ceremony of woman support. It will be healing on many, many levels.

With blessings of compassionate concern,

xxMama Donna


Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman, ritual expert, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed Ezine and writes for The Huffington Post and UPI Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.





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