The Bliss Mistress Guide: A Holy Shift Moment

As I am writing this article, I am propped up in bed, blankets and pillows all around. Not unusual for me, as I often write that way. The location is out of the ordinary, since it is not my cozy bedroom in which I am ensconced, but rather a room of a cardiac care unit of my local hospital. Last Thursday, following what seemed like a ‘normal’ workout at the gym, I experienced severe symptoms of jaw tightness, profuse sweating and heartburn type pain across my back and chest. I knew immediately that these were emanating from my heart, since my sister had these same experiences with two ‘cardiac events’ last year. Women’s symptoms are often vastly different from those of men who report the crushing pain of a heart attack; so the tendency is to ignore or dismiss them. I’m glad I didn’t, or it is unlikely that I would be typing these words.

I got myself (read, foolishly drove myself) to the ER and stumbled through the door, into a quickly acquired wheelchair in which I was escorted to the cardiac cath lab. Less than an hour after the initial sensations, a stent was inserted into a blockage in an artery. Nausea, dizziness, blood pressure dips and soars followed, but ever so briefly, thank goodness.

Being cared for by ‘angels in scrubs’, I surrendered to the regimen of every few hour vitals, IV blood thinners, the visit from the ‘vampires’ who took blood, needing to ask for help to get to the potty, since in the few times I attempted to do it myself ‘like a big girl’, I had to take a dive back to bed, so I didn’t hit the deck instead. Needing to get my sea legs, apparently.

Like most of what I do, my reaction was to push on through, telling myself in my head that it would all be ok, with some minor changes. Guess what? I have come to recognize that major changes will need to occur, not simply putting a Band-Aid on a little boo boo. My M.O. of thinking I can be all things to all people, is now null and void. I committed to myself, friends and family that I am taking all of next week to rest and re-create.

At the moment, I am feeling a cacophony of emotions, from mild trepidation to waves of fear that threaten to capsize my ship of dreams of what I thought my life would be like at this point. Feeling a juxtaposition of freedom and restriction. I will be starting cardiac rehab in early July and my exercise routine will include walking and yoga until I am allowed to get back to the gym.

Friends and family have been ultimately supportive and I have reluctantly allowed them to be. When in the past, I would have been the go-to person for everyone else, I am now the ‘get-to’ person who is able to lean back into the arms of love in all forms. A holy shift moment if ever there was one.

Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a colorfully creative journalist, dynamic motivational speaker, interfaith minister, licensed social worker, PR Goddess, Cosmic Concierge, radio host (It’s All About Relationships www.vividlife.me), BLISS Coach and the author of The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming The Ordinary Into The Extraordinary. www.liveinjoy.org