Coming Full 'ircle

What if you are doing your life perfectly? What if the things that you think are failings on your part are not really failings at all? Has it ever occurred to you that as a child you perfectly absorbed information from your environment, learning wholeheartedly when your brain was not yet able to discern truth from fiction nor to apply reason and thought?

Our friends Amy and Andy have a beautiful little boy, Alex. We were privileged to be at the hospital when he was born and have watched him on his journey from infancy to early childhood.

At the ripe old age of 22 months, you could see that Alex had learned many things, demonstrating that he clearly knew the difference between hard and soft. When Alex wanted to express his displeasure at not getting his way (like being asked to eat the Cheerios from a small baggie rather than from the big box he wanted to hold) he would throw himself on the floor in an impressive display of histrionics. The velocity of Alex’s descent to the floor depended on which room of the house he was in during his meltdown. In the family room, he did a full-fledged flop since the floor has thick carpeting. But Alex was more cautious on the wood floors and avoided landing on stone if he could help it. One time, he got upset while he was on the brick walkway leading to the front door. He prepared himself for a full tilt fit but managed to stop the action before hitting brick. He actually picked himself up and walked the few feet to the cushy welcome mat before “spontaneously” throwing himself down to cry.

Yes, Alex had learned well and his little boy mind had collected all sorts of useful information, causing him to feel passionately about many things. When Alex was 15 months old he discovered circles. For some time, Alex was like an investigative reporter, on the hunt for anything round that he could point out with glee to his parents, and to anyone who would listen. “‘ircle!” Alex would shout. It seems that while his brain was able to identify the shape, his mouth could not yet form the “S” sound at the beginning of the word. So instead of being surrounded by circular shapes, Alex’s world was inhabited by “‘ircles.”

Alex could find ‘ircles anywhere – the balloon motif around the ceiling at the doctor’s office, a clock face, a ball. The MasterCardTM logo once sent Alex into a frenzy when he realized it had two overlapping ‘ircles. It often surprised his parents that round shapes, even if they were simply a part of the background environment, could be spotlighted by Alex’s nimble mind. Amy and Andy found the passion their son had for ‘ircles endearing. They did however, from time-to-time, feel concerned that Alex couldn’t pronounce the word correctly. They could only hope that sooner or later Alex would be able to fix his earlier mistake in pronunciation when his ability to speak caught up with his powers of observation.

One day, while casually leaning on the doorframe watching his son play, Andy had a stunning revelation. Alex was on all fours, rolling a big yellow school bus back and forth, one of his favorite toys. On the side of the bus were four shapes: a triangle, a square, a heart and a circle. Plopping on his behind, Alex pushed the triangle and when the button was depressed, the electronic voice exclaimed, “Triangle!” When Alex hit the square, the voice called out, “Square!” and then he pushed the big round button and the machine hollered, “‘ircle!”

Astounded, Andy came into the room, knelt by his son and pushed the button. Again the toy faithfully repeated, “‘ircle!” Alex could make the “S” sound. It was not his mistake. He had learned perfectly, and with passion, to say ‘ircle instead of circle from a defective toy.

All of us have learned how to behave and relate from things we put together as youngsters or by things we absorbed from our environment. But that was before we had the benefit of discerning whether or not we were getting complete or accurate information.

As you go through life, it’s very easy to blame one’s parents or teachers or environment and say they were bad role models or deficient in some way. But stop and think. Those people you may seek to blame also learned and absorbed from their environments without their young minds being able to discern truth from fiction or apply reason and thought.

Just the way Andy discovered the defective audio in the toy while watching his son, you can also discover how you function. Casually lean on the doorframe of your life and observe how you operate without judging what you discover. You will be instantaneously empowered to include small details that were omitted. If you can treat yourself with humor, love and respect, much like you would a young child who is learning from his or her environment, you will reclaim your wholehearted nature and passion for living. When you allow yourself to come full ‘ircle, and rediscover the art of self-observation without self-reproach, it will have a profound impact on your well-being.

For more information on the Kanes and their books visit www.ask-inc.com